Misunderstood

I don’t need a mood ring to gauge the contents of my heart right now. Sad. Upset. Disheartened. Hurt–really hurt. Unsettled. Shocked. Confused. Shaken. And a little bit pissed.

What has evolved into an important relationship with someone I genuinely like & respect has taken a mighty blow. The damage may in fact be irreparable. I’m making myself wait a few days to decide on that for sure, but I think it’s a done deal. My instinct is to react, but I’m making myself take a more measured approach. That’s not easy for me.

My intentions have been misconstrued, and that makes me immensely sad. I work hard to conduct my life in a way that produces no regrets. I strive to be a good person who does the right thing, even when it’s hard. I tend to express myself quite openly and honestly; there’s rarely a need for those close to me to wonder where they stand. This quality is usually a good thing, but sometimes it creates hardship. Sometimes I wish I was more of a shrinking violet, less of a “live out loud” type. Life would probably be a lot easier. I bet the violet’s mood ring doesn’t change color much.

 

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18 Comments on “Misunderstood”

  1. David Benbow says:

    You’re right for taking your time. Time heals all wounds. I say that from experience. The damage is probably not irreparable. However, you may have to work at it.

    Chin up. This too shall pass.

  2. Hello to you today, I usually don’t comment on blogs I follow especially of people I don’t know or know me, but today I felt the need to reach out to you. I too had a struggle the same as yours and was one of the most difficult things I ever went through, being a cancer survivor, and Ankylosing Spondylitis Girl, that is saying something, anway I have a quote that I keep close to me that says…. I would rather be hated for who I am than to be loved for who I am not. You stand strong and never apologize for being the real you. Best to you always Cookie. Out of tha hurt that I endured in my lesson on true friendship I wrote this. I hope it helps in some small way. Blessings, courage and Thank you for being you.
    http://cookiehasas.wordpress.com/when-we-look-in-the-mirror/

  3. Amy Pace says:

    You are going to be just fine “Miss Understood” :) You are doing what you need to do! Keep doing it. The fact that your blog evokes such emotion shows that you are making your mark in the world and a difference:) Hang in there!

  4. Ed says:

    Continue to live out loud. A more measured approach will only leave you unhappy and others confused. Feelings get hurt, egos get bruised, but those things heal.

  5. Lauren says:

    God we are cut from the same fabric. I had this talk with grandmother willow recently about how it just devastates me when people mistake my good intent for something sinister or wrong…and how I am a loud go get em girl, and not everyone likes that. I was beomoaning every finding a man to love me being such a firecracker, and she said just what the above comment said better someone not like you for who you are than like you for being someone you arent. And it was wise.

    Do not apologize for being you. And do not let others throw slugs at you. And do not let the slugs stick to you. I have walked away from many a relationship, to maintain my sanity and sense of self. This sounds toxic, if it is making you feel this way.

    L.

    • L, we are cut from the same cloth for real. Love that. And I love the mental image of slugs being thrown but not sticking. The source of this toxicity is what’s most troubling. I’m walking away.

  6. Christy says:

    No shrinking violets here! Keep on speaking your mind in the sensitive, assertive, fun, informative way you do! Your intentions are always good! :)

  7. Jan Hasak says:

    I understand how you can feel so misunderstood. I’ve definitely experienced that. And thanks for the road trip down memory lane regarding mood rings. May the mood ringing in the new year be a good one for you. XOXO, Jan

  8. David Haas says:

    Hello,
    I have a question about your blog. Please email me!
    Thanks,
    David

  9. [...] and I’m beyond ready for that to change. Just when I wonder if this “journey” get any harder or any more complicated, I smacked in the face with the answer: a resounding [...]


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