breathe and smilePosted: November 13, 2011
I’m still reeling from the events that upended my day Friday. I know that time and distance are the only things that will make this wretched situation any better, and I’m trying to be patient.
I engaged in the age-old attempts to soothe my jangled soul yesterday: picked out a cheery bunch of sunflowers and filled my grocery cart with simple goodness to fix a yummy lunch to be shared with friends. A cold beer and a hummus wrap filled with roasted red peppers, jalapenos, tomatoes, banana peppers, guacamole and Greek olives with roasted asparagus on the side and raspberries to finish restored my body first and my soul second. Cheering my boy’s baseball team on to victory and witnessing him make a truly stellar, ESPN-worthy snag in center field on a balmy, breezy, warm-but-not hot day provided a good measure of joy, but my heart still hurts. Cap all that with a family outing to a swanky and super-fun bat mitzvah celebration and my really terrible week was turning around…finally.
I’ve put just enough distance between the huge hurt to know that it’s not going away. It’s easing, slightly, but the root is still stubbornly entrenched. I’ll admit I’m not one to forgive & forget quickly, and I can nurse a grudge longer than just about anyone, but this is different. This is big-time hurt, to the bottom reaches of my soul. It pains me to show any hint of vulnerability, but this thing is big enough to supersede my inclination to put on a brave face.
I’m listening to my heart and taking comfort from this idea:
“Do not let the world make you hard.
Do not let the pain make you hate.
Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.”