The spring of my discontentPosted: March 20, 2012 Filed under: cancer fatigue | Tags: 50th wedding anniversary, grief and cancer, I hate Mother's Day, losing a parent to cancer, missing mom, psychological effects of cancer 7 Comments
As the spring equinox draws to a close, I can’t help but notice that today is the beginning of the season I dread. Springtime is hard, really hard, and today heralds the beginning of the period of time that hurts my heart. Three events in a short span, one right after another, that bring heartbreak.
An anniversary, a birthday, and Mother’s Day. Bam, bam, bam. Just when I get through one, the next one is right on its heels, waiting to slam into me like a brick wall. But instead of mortar and bricks, this wall is made up of sadness and loss.
Today, the first official day of spring, is my parents’ 47th wedding anniversary. 47 years. Just a few years shy of the big 5-0. I can imagine myself planning a gee-gantic golden celebration: friends, family, neighbors, cake, champagne, confetti. But one thing is missing: the bride.
My mom’s chance to celebrate her golden anniversary was stolen by the vicious beast we call cancer. Stupid cancer.
What a beautiful woman, your mom. I’m so sorry, Nancy. This disease really sucks, taking loved ones so often before their time. I so wish your parents could have celebrated their 50th anniversary, and then many more. Your father must have been devastated. Mine was devastated even though my mom made it to 83. He still felt she didn’t have enough time on earth. I can only imagine how hard this time of year must be for you. Wishing you good memories. XX Jan
Such a beautiful picture of your Mom..I can see you in her. In Ireland, we just celebrated Mother’s Day this past Sunday and a week later is my Mom’s birthday, so I really know how you feel. We’re also starting to experience the first of our family events without her and that is hard. My youngest brother, my Mom’s late in life baby, got engaged last month and it was such a bittersweet occasion – we all missed Mom so much. While these occasions bring into sharp focus what it is like to not have her in our lives anymore, every day hurts without her….
Indeed, your parents were quite the couple. And they did a mean jitterbug. I remember attending the gee-gantic gala you threw for their 25th anniversary (I must’ve only been about 5 years old).
My mother died on Mother’s Day. It is indeed a bittersweet time.
[…] as this season of spring is for many, for others, it is a reminder of loss. And so it is for The Pink Underbelly , mourning the loss of her Mom, who writes: Springtime is hard, really hard, and today heralds […]
I know what you mean. My mom’s birthday is in June. My parents’ anniversary is in June. Then there is Mother’s Day… Plus, spring is my “cancer season.” Therefore, I don’t relish spring much either and in fact, I just posted on that exact topic.
I’m sorry you lost your mom to this wretched disease. I’m sorry your parents didn’t get to celebrate that special anniversary. I’m sorry spring is so hard for you. Hugs to you while you cherish the memories. And the photo of your mom is beautiful.
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