No less than what she deserves

While packing Macy’s lunch this morning, I was picking the seeds out of each cube of watermelon (because that’s what gives meaning and adds fulfillment to my life as a suburban at-home mom).

I told her that it’s ok to eat watermelon seeds; that you won’t grow a watermelon in your belly. She used to believe that, when she was really little. Sometimes I miss those days.

Besides, the seeds of a seedless watermelon are so tiny they’re barely noticable. Not like the hefty black watermelon seeds of my childhood. I’d like to see kids these days try to have a seed-spitting contest with the new generation of seeds.

But back to the conversation with Macy.

She didn’t pause for even one second to ponder the incredible gift of fortune that is hers, simply by being born into a family whose matriarch set such a high standard of child-rearing and lunch-packing that her descendant (that’s me) is seriously picking seeds out of watermelon cubes at 6:45 a.m. on a Thursday. Nor did she remark upon the bounty of produce that is available in Texas in January. She knows not of seasonal fruits & veg.

She did not bow her head momentarily in thanks for the numerous gifts that are hers, just by chance and birthright.

She wanted to know one thing: if you did grow a watermelon in your belly, would you poop it out or barf it out?

Because I’m so busy picking seeds out of watermelon cubes and endlessly matching orphaned socks warm & fluffy from the dryer, I didn’t have time to go to med school or get an advanced degree in child psychology or pursue a curriculum of horticulture. So I don’t know the answer to her question. I’d guess both.

In an effort to instill my daily dose of guilt into my kids’ life, I told her it must be really great to have someone make your lunch every day. Breakfast, too, for that matter. I could get used to that. (Except, let’s be honest: I’m pretty picky and would likely end up re-doing it anyway, while trying to avoid making eye contact with the gift horse.)

I asked her this: when I’m old and gray and have no teeth, will you pick the seeds out of my watermelon for me?

She said: If you don’t have any teeth, how are you going to chew? Will I have to do that for you, too? Why not just get dentures?

Why not indeed. 


4 Comments on “No less than what she deserves”

  1. Amy H. says:

    I hear ya! About two years ago I realized that having the socks right side out before I match them and put them away (lovingly, of course) apparently ONLY matters to me…..Therefore I changed my ways and life is a bit harder for my progeny. If they want to wear socks right side out, their Mama doesn’t do it for them anymore! How my sister has trained her children–all 5 of them!- to take their socks off where they are right side out, is a mystery to me.

    I love how Macy is able to have such creative thinking because she’s not and never has been worried about having to pick those seeds out.

  2. Ed says:

    I am glad I’m alone right now because I laughed out loud (and nearly snorted) at Macy’s question. Logically it’s a great question, even if she totally missed your point. Plus, if she’s to become all you expect of her and change the world in the process she cannot waste time on watermelon seeds. So stop complaining and get to work on dinner!

  3. Cindy says:

    My mother never picked seeds for me. However my mother in law, cut, cubed and picked the seed, and package. We just at the watermelon off the rine never cut cubed, seeded or packed, i like it that way. And sometime we did eat the seeds!

  4. […] Highness knows that Macy isn’t at all concerned with or motivated by money. She likes stuff. She’s funny and quirky and a bit outside of the box. And the Tooth Fairy is usually well-stocked. Lip gloss, a stuffed animal, a stationery […]


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