Abx, reduxPosted: August 18, 2011 Filed under: breast cancer | Tags: click it or ticket Texas, gratitude, post-mastectomy infection, psychological effects of cancer 3 Comments
Antibiotics. The mere sight of that word makes my skin crawl and my stomach clench, but I have to be a big girl and take these damned drugs. Again. It’s for a short time this time, which is good, and for which I should be grateful.
Just like I should be grateful that I have enough sense to suggest a prophylactic antibiotic with yet another surgery on the horizon.
I should be grateful that I have comprehensive health insurance and can get 2 prescriptions filled for less than $10.
I should be grateful that even though my Walgreens around the corner had a fire and is closed for a month, there’s another store a few miles away that had my prescriptions ready.
I should be grateful that I have the means to also buy the $50 worth of probiotics I’ll need to keep my intestinal tract from revolting against the onslaught of preventative drugs.
I should be grateful that I have an unlimited supply of Greek yogurt to help the probiotics battle the imbalance of bacteria in my gut.
I should be grateful that I have this forum in which to bitch, moan, and complain about having to go on these damned drugs yet again.
I should be grateful that my cancer wasn’t worse, was caught early, and is manageable.
I should be grateful that although I was one of the unlucky ones to get a post-mastectomy infection that rocked my world and wrecked my summer, I got better. Slowly (veeeeery slowly) and surely, I got better. Mountains were moved, heavens and earth were too, but I got better. Just when I thought it was never going to happen, I got better.
I’ve never been a big fan of all the “shoulds” in our life. I tend to favor a more laissez-faire attitude of do what you want to do, as long as you fulfill obligations and inflict no harm. I’ve also got a bit of a stubborn streak, so as soon as I hear that I “should” do something, my first instinct is to turn around and do the exact opposite. Charming, I know. Seatbelts are the prime example. It’s a state law in Texas — “click it or ticket” — for drivers and front-seat passengers to wear seatbelts. If you’re busted unbuckled, you’ll be looking at a hefty $200 fine. I know full good and well the statistics on seatbelt use and crash fatalities, and of course my kids are buckled every single time we’re in a vehicle. Yes, I know that Princess Diana might well have survived her fatal car crash if she’d been buckled. Same goes for my sweet Uncle Wilford. But I don’t like to wear my seatbelt, because the State of Texas tells me to. My kids usually bust me before a cop has the chance to. They’ll notice I’m unbuckled and fuss at me, so I comply. But I don’t like it.
Sometimes the “shoulds” get the best of me.
I learned long ago not to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. My 8-year-old daughter has a stripe of that same rebelliousness running through her.
Rage on! You SHOULD do whatever it takes to get to the other side of this mess. Here’s hoping for fewer than 267 days on ABX this time. I’ve got Piper chilling for when you are ready. Now buckle up!
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