I buried the lead

In my post yesterday I committed a journalism felony — I buried the lead. See, the lead is the most important part because it gets the reader’s attention. Typically the lead belongs in the first paragraph, to suck the reader in and encourage him/her to read the whole story. The Weekly World News and The National Enquirer have mastered the art of not burying the lead. I learned about that at the Paul Miller School of Journalism & Broadcasting back in the Dark Ages

I didn’t mean to tease you.

I forgot to mention something pretty important yesterday, and I thank the kind readers who expressed concern. I have been fearful of starting my period, but have absolutely no reason to think that will happen. There’s been no, er, physical evidence; nothing but my own cancer-fueled insanity to make me think this fear will materialize. I could imagine this bout of insanity becoming a sleeper sequel to the 2007 Daniel Day Lewis movie. Instead of the story (based on Upton Sinclair’s novel Oil!) of the early oil boom in Southern California, in this story, There Will Be No Blood.

There will, however, be insanity. Plenty of it.

 

 

 


Daymare

What do you call a recurring nightmare that happens while you’re awake? Recurring daymare doesn’t sound right at all. Whatever it’s called, I’ve been having it. Guys, you may want to click on over to espn.com or continue searching for pics of Minka Kelly in a bikini because I’m fixin’ to talk about some lady stuff.

This blog has been my outlet for all things cancer-related: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sadly, the latter two categories way outweigh the first in this trilogy, but that’s when you grit your teeth and plow right through it. There’s been much discussion on this blog about highly personal things, and lots of talk about boobs (sorry, guys; not the Minka Kelly type of talk). Such discussion is brutally honest and at times of the sort that makes people uncomfortable, but that’s how I roll. I could no more ignore the elephant in the room than root for the Yankees (dang, even the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach). I never learned how to sweep things under the rug or look the other way, and I’m not one bit sorry.

So, with the disclaimer out of the way, it’s on to the recurring daymare. Several times in the last few days I’ve had a moment of sheer panic when I think I’ve started my period. Not sheer panic in the sense of it’s gonna be a gusher and I’m in my white tennis skirt far, far away from any feminine hygiene products. No, this sheer panic is in the form of a stark realization that if I were to start my period again, after 17 months, that would signal the end of my chemically-induced menopause.

And that would be bad. Very bad.

Not that I love menopause, not by a long shot. I especially do not love menopause at the age of 42. Going through the ‘pause a decade early is cruel and unusual on many fronts: it’s yet another reminder of having been diagnosed with a potentially deadly disease while my kids were still in grade school; it sucks to be enduring it years before my peers; and it forces me to face all the unpleasantries of how breast cancer can destroy one’s self-confidence and body image at a time in which one should be living large in the prime of one’s life, to name of few.

But menopause for me means that the hormone suppression — which comes at quite a cost — is working. It means that the hormones that fueled my cancer are gone. There one day, gone the next. Hormone suppression causes me a litany of problems, but it means instant famine for my cancer.

If I were to start my period, it would be a red flag (pun intended) that my ovaries were pumping out the hormones that cause a technically-she-should-still-be-fertile woman to start her cycle. And while I’d love to return to that carefree time in which my ovaries pumped out whatever hormones necessary to keep me from being the withered husk of a woman that cancer tries to make me, it would be very bad news. I’m already on the short list at my doctors’ offices (plural) for being a troublemaker. The last thing I need is to ring my onco-crush, as Trevor calls him, to say, “Guess what? The ‘take one pill daily for five years’ Tamoxifen and the quarterly shots of Lupron aren’t working anymore.” I think that sweet man might have a heart attack. And I’d never hear the end of it from Dr S, who not-so-secretly thinks I invent symptoms to have a reason to go see my onco-crush, all the while shaking his head and muttering about what anyone could possibly see in a young, handsome, fit Peruvian doctor when there’s a much-older, much wiser plastic surgeon to adore.

This latest daymare is a perfect example of the PTSD that cancer patients endure. I imagine there are some cancer patients out there in this big, wide world who finish treatment and declare that chapter of their life closed, never to be stressed over or fretted upon again. I’m clearly not one of them. I hear tell that one day, this nasty cancer business won’t be in my forethoughts all the time but will be demoted to a back-burner status. I’m not there yet, but I’m hopeful. For now, though, the thoughts are there, and the fears are many. Things that used to scare me don’t scare me anymore (namely needles, but having been poked so many times I’m over it. In fact, I gave myself a shot the other day, like it was a normal, everyday event) but things I never knew were scary now scare the fool outta me. If that makes any sense.

The other day I was chatting with a friend in the parking lot in the brutal and ongoing Texas sun, and suddenly I felt something that flipped the switch from “I’m a normal person having a normal, non-cancer-related conversation with a friend” to full-blown panic, just like that. The feeling? Something wet was collecting, not quite pooling but definitely collecting, under my newly constructed right breast, site of the infection of the year that turned an average bilateral mastectomy recovery into a shitstorm, for lack of a better word.

I went on with my normal, not-cancer-related conversation, hopefully as if nothing was wrong, but was seriously panicked inside. Visions of hospital beds filled my head; the hospital smell that I dread more than words can say infiltrated my nose; and I could almost feel the 20-gauge needle puncturing my skin to access my port so the army of big-gun antibiotics could get in and fight the enemy. In my mind, I had been admitted and diagnosed with a recurrence of that damned infection within the span of a couple of heartbeats. In reality, it was a simple bead of sweat.

Ahh, yes, a simple bead of sweat. Such a common character in the land of perpetual sun, magnified a few million times by standing on a blacktop surface. A simple, everyday occurrence in the life of millions of Texans and citizens of other hot (but not as awesome) states in this fine country. One little bead of sweat that most people don’t even notice had the power to instantly transport me back to the hell that is included, free of charge, with a post-mastectomy infection.

Somebody wake me from this daymare.


I’m expecting a big fat “rejected!” notice

Trevor is trying to get life insurance on me. I’m sure that should make me nervous on some level; however, I think he knows that even on my worst day, his life is a bit easier with me in it. Right?? Right??

Here’s what’s funny: I had to fill out a bunch of online forms, knowing I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of being accepted. It’s ok, I have really thick skin. I don’t worry too much about rejection.

The online application has a big section on heath issues, conveniently divided up into categories: physical exam; common conditions; skin, hair & nails; musculoskeletal; women’s health; and “other.”

I’m sure I would pass the physical exam, as long as they give partial credit for having partially finalized body parts. The common conditions section included questions on whether one has had problems with things like colds, flu, allergies, as well as kidney stones and appendicitis. Since when did the latter two become common? I hope I never have either.

The skin, hair & nails section sadly had nothing to do with how fastidiously or fashionably maintained one is. I would pass with flying colors on exfoliated, moisturized, and sunblocked skin, as well as highlighted hair and a nice mani-pedi. But no, they want to know about boring stuff like shingles and psoriasis.

Musculoskeltal was a little more interesting with queries about back pain, bone spurs, fractures, and plantar fasciitis. No, yes, yes, and yes. That was easy.

Women’s health dealt with exactly what I’d expect: birth control, menopause, hormone replacement therapy. In other words, some of the most depressing topics on the website. No need for birth control when you’ve been thrown into early menopause. The baby-making department has not only been downsized but is out of business and closed for good. Menopause? Yep, in spades. Every symptom under the ‘pause banner got a big, thick checkmark from me. Hormone replacement therapy? No chance. The damn hormones fed my cancer machine, so there’s no way I’m going to replace them. Not even if they begged me to come back. 

The “other” section inquired about a smorgasboard of topics: concussions, cycts, hernias, and plastic surgery. Hmmm, seems strange to throw the plastic surgery one in there. I can’t wait to tell Dr S that his exalted specialty is lumped in with such ordinary things. 

After checking the boxes and reading the laundry list of symptoms and conditions, I had to give specific detail about any “health concerns.” This is where I’m expecting the giant red “rejection” stamp to hit. The questions:

“#1. During the past three years, have you for any reason consulted a physician(s) or other health care provider(s), or been hospitalized? #2. Have you ever had, or been treated for, any of the following: heart, lung, kidney, liver, nervous system, or mental disorder; high blood pressure; stroke; diabetes; cancer or tumor; drug or alcohol abuse including addiction?”

No amount of creative writing or playing fast & loose with the facts is going to help me here.  During the past three years, I have indeed consulted a physician(s) or other health care provider(s) and been hospitalized. Further, I have indeed been treated for cancer or tumor; the jury is still out on the mental disorder and the drug/alcohol abuse issues. I’m thinking those could go either way. 


Weekend review

So it’s Tuesday, and I’m still recovering from my weekend. Lest you think it’s because of all the wild partying I did, let me set the record straight. My brain has decided it’s time to be back to “normal” after my latest surgical procedure (whatever the hell “normal” is), but my body says it still needs more time. Going about what used to be everyday business for me still wears me out. As much as I try to fight it, it’s true. As much as I want to pretend it’s not so, it really is. And as much as I hate it, it’s reality.

Friday started with me spending 2 hours trying on bras. My brain decided it’s time to start wearing a bra again; to pretend to be “normal” and be like every other girl out there. My body, however, said, “Nah, normal is overrated so we’re gonna fly our freak flag a little longer.” If you think it’s hard to fit a square peg into a round hole, try fitting an elliptical boob into a standard bra cup.

Friday evening was Macy’s mock swim meet, to prepare all the kids who now swim year-round but who have never participated in a swim meet. My little fish knows what to do at a meet, so it was old hat for her, but not for the hordes of screaming masses congregated around the pool. After my looooong, unproductive session in the dressing room, being around tons of hepped up kids wasn’t my idea of fun. As luck would have it, there was a lounge chair at the end of the pool, so I grabbed it and thought longingly of an ice cold Negro Modelo. My “luck” was short-lived, as the area near my chair was where all the swimmers gathered to line up in their heats. No wonder that chair was available. Now I needed two Negro Modelos.

After a very long 2 hours, we were released from one of my personal versions of hell, and we skipped on over to the next neighborhood for some pizza & fellowship with Boss Lady and the Rajah. Good times, and I don’t mean just the bottle of champagne I had to myself.

Saturday morning was my much-anticipated return to the tennis court. I won’t say my game hasn’t suffered in the last several weeks because you loyal readers are much too nice to lie to. Let’s just say that the elliptical boobs wreaked havoc yet again and that my tennis game is all kinds of messed up. Who knew it would be so hard to serve with half a breast in one’s armpit? A good time was had by all nonetheless, and I did manage to rock a few nice passing shots despite my multitude of double-faults.

After tennis we had to skedaddle across town to buy not one but two cars. Ok, we didn’t have to, but we did. We got some rain Saturday for the first time in a coon’s age–about three months, to be exact–and while there are some people who would say something smart-alekey about the odds of Houston finally getting a good deluge on the same day we buy two new cars, I am not one of them. The fact that it hasn’t rained in Houston enough to measure since June 22nd but poured buckets on my new car day didn’t bother me one lick.

After two weeks of driving the adorable red Fiat 500C everywhere I could, I made it legal, and she is now mine, all mine.

Yes, she really is that cute in real life.

The dealership has a 50 club for the first 50 Fiat buyers, and I’m officially in it. I got to sign the canvas on the wall, and I may change my name to 21. If Chad Ochocinco can do it, why not me? If anyone is ready for a fresh start, it’s me.

Our reward for our super busy day was sushi and fantastic cocktails with two of my favorite people, Thad & Yvonne, at a new restaurant. The blood orange martini was sublime, as was the gigantic platter of sushi. 

I still can’t decide which was my favorite, but it may have been the special red snapper sashimi we had before the gigantic platter. If you go there, ask for Sonny for your waiter. He was knowledgeable about the sushi, but more importantly, he recommended we order the martinis without the simple syrup but with extra alcohol. My kind of guy.

Sunday there was more fun to be had, with a trip to the Metropolitan Food & Entertaining Show at Reliant Park. The highlight of the show was seeing Paula Deen in the Celebrity Theater. Listen, y’all: she’s a hoot. I’ve seen her show on Food Network a few times, and I’ve tasted her recipes at potlucks and cocktail parties, but to be honest, I don’t follow her because I’m afraid that if I eat the way she cooks, I won’t be able to fit in my chair to write this blog. Yes, she does love butter, but there’s more to her than fried food.

Namely her outsized personality. She’s funny, warm, and honest. Even though we were surrounded by 2,500 screaming fans, she made it feel like we were sitting around her kitchen table chatting. Her husband, Michael, was with her, as was his brother Hank and a chef. Just offstage was Hollis, who I gather is her bodyguard. He just got some new teeth, and she encouraged the camera to zoom in on him so he could show them off. I got the distinct impression that Hollis isn’t one for a lot of smiling, and Paula likes to poke at him a bit.

Clearly, she and Michael have a great relationship, and the banter was flying between them. During the Q&A session, Michael proved to be as quick-witted as Paula had said he is when an audience member asked Paula if she remembers the very first thing she ever cooked. Before she could answer, Michael said “Dinosaur!”

It was hard to get a good shot of her, even though we had good seats; this will have to do. If you’re a foodie like me and are wondering what she cooked, the answer may surprise you. She didn’t cook anything. The guys did all the cooking so she could visit. They made bacon-wrapped chicken thighs, macaroni & cheese, and apple cake. The food wasn’t the highlight: Paula was. It was like an evening at the Improv, and she had the audience roaring with laughter.

She reiterated that she’s not a classically trained chef, saying, “I ain’t a chef, I’m a cook, baby!” Talking about the food the guys were cooking, she said it was “so good it’ll make your tongue want to slap your brains out.” And she said she loves Texas girls because we have “the biggest hearts, the spirits, and the biggest hair.”

Paula Deen is one smart cookie. And that was one fun, but tiring, weekend.


The phoenix

Yesterday’s visit to the doctor was the usual highlight of my day. We laughed, we sparred, we talked about my new Fiat, and I once again stood buck-naked in front of his omnipotent eyes for my three-week post-op checkup. Here’s where it got interesting: I told him that while I appreciate his valiant efforts in the OR, I’m not happy w the results. Shape, size, asymmetry, bumpiness…. I’m sure I wounded him deeply, but had to get it out there. And of course, it goes without saying that I’m not dissatisfied with his work, quite the opposite, but with the ongoing, multi-step drudge that is reconstruction.

I asked about options if the fat transfer doesn’t yield good results. It’s a relatively new procedure and data is scarce, so it’s hard to predict the final results. But I need options. Can he suck out the fat he’s transferred? Can I go back to being totally flat-chested? Because honestly, I’d rather be flat as a board than have an elliptical uniboob. The cleavage line looks great, but only from a distance, and I’d sacrifice it to get back to the point of being satisfied with my chest.

photobucket.com

I know it’s hard for a plastic surgeon to grasp that a woman in the USA doesn’t want the biggest knockers she can possibly get, but I keep hammering away at the fact that I am indeed that woman. I’m all for a curvy silhouette but do not want big boobs.

To fix the aspects I’m dissatisfied with, we need to inject more fat, which results in a bigger bust. I don’t want that. I’ve said from Day One that I don’t want that. In fact, I think my exact words to the doc in my consultation right after diagnosis were “If I wake up from surgery with DDs I will kick your teeth in.” Direct quote. In fact, I need to get him a little pillow for his office couch with that message needle-pointed on it. That, and my other recurring message to him, also uttered at that first meeting: I know I’m not your only patient, but I’m your most important patient. I have threatened to get that needle-pointed for him, too.


Not quite able to wrap his brain around my crazy-ass request, the doc asked if I’m talking about sucking out the fat transfer part or the entire DIEP flap. I said the latter. If I’m going to go back to being totally flat-chested, I can’t have former-tummy-nee-breasts hanging around. To say he was stunned is the understatement of the day. Probably of the week. Maybe even the year, and perhaps this question would score high on the top 10 list of most shocking things I’ve ever asked for. googleimages.com

I reminded him that I understand that reconstruction — and revisions — can be a process. In my case, a multi-step process. As much as I’d love 1-stop reconstruction, that was not in the cards for me (thanks for nothing, mycobacterium, you wily bastard). Revisions to reconstruction are a process. I get it. Change comes incrementally and require more than 1 surgery. I get it. But being an “I wanted it yesterday” kind of girl, I’m impatient. And being a procedural rather than big-picture kind of girl, it’s hard for me to imagine how this is all going to turn out once the scalpel is laid down, the anesthesia wears off, and the final revision is complete. Whenever the hell that may be.Needless to say, the good doctor wasn’t crazy about my idea of sucking out and throwing away all of his hard work. We discussed the biggest source of unhappiness with my newly created breasts: the shape. Granted, it’s mind-boggling to me that a surgeon can cut a gal open from hip to hip, harvest the skin, fat, and blood vessels from her belly, stretch the remaining skin back together and stitch it up into straight line, replant the blood vessels into the chest wall, and form the skin and fat into any semblance of breasts. That truly boggles my mind. And yet, it happens, every day.
While I understand on an intellectual level how difficult this surgery is, and that the shape of the belly-turned-breasts may need some fine-tuning, and while I have every confidence in the doc’s skill and artistic ability, I still have a hard time believing that what I see today will ever look right. I know i twill, but I just can’t see it right now. I can’t envision how the oval-shaped uniboob will ever evolve into separate but equal, nicely rounded, not-too-big breasts. I just don’t see it. I’m accustomed to the sports-bra-induced uniboob, and I realize that sometimes bad things happen to good boobs, even Oprah’s. 

All this talk we Cancerchicks hear about how lucky we are to get new boobs is utter horseshit. I’m on the record saying that is a humongous load of crap. I was perfectly satisfied with my pre-cancer body, and there’s not one thing I can name that is better now. Ok, except for the absence of the tumors that would have eventually spread and killed me. That part is definitely better. And I’m no longer afraid of needles. Having been poked and shot up more times that I could ever count, and with a boatload of port flushes and blood draws and monthly B12 shots and quarterly Lupron shots and injections for scans ahead of me, I don’t even flinch anymore. Not even the thought of a 20-gauge needle piercing my skin and extracting my lifeblood scares me anymore. But conquering the fear of needles doesn’t really count as a way in which my body is better after my cancer “journey.” 

I’ve never been one to be hung up on body image (thankfully, because that can mess you up bad). I’ve never aspired to be a super model, which is a good thing because I’m pretty sure there’s not much of a market for 5-feet-tall candidates who aren’t stick-thin. I’ve always viewed my body as a workhorse: the vessel that contains the essence of who I am; the engine that drives me in sport and play; the carrier that allows me to complete the mundane tasks of domestic life such as unloading groceries and maintaining my home; and most importantly, as the oven and keeper of 2 precious babies who are growing up to be amazing people, if I do say so myself. 
From Day One of my cancer “journey,” I knew in my heart of hearts that losing my breasts but keeping my life was a trade I was willing to make. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am more than my breasts. While clothes may make the man, breasts do not define the woman. I certainly wasn’t happy about being diagnosed with breast cancer and undergoing a bilateral mastectomy, but I wasn’t sad about losing my breasts. I looked at them the same way I look at a spot of mold on a hunk of my favorite manchago cheese: cut it off so it doesn’t spoil the rest. 

I will admit, however, that I bought into the whole “new boobs” scam. I thought, well at least I’ll be nice and perky in the old folks’ home. No one tells you, though, that the “new boobs” may never be better than the old ones. Hell, they may never even be equal too, and dammit, they might even be lesser than. This is a closely-guarded secret of the “new boobs” scam, and I’m happy to expose this untruth for all the world to hear. 

Now before you start sending me hate mail or telling me I’m flat-out wrong, I will concede that for a lot of women, reconstructed breasts are better than their saggy, flabby, pre-cancer breasts. I’ve seen plenty of photos on the web from countless plastic surgeons, so I know this much is true. But guess what? I’m not one of those women. Most of those women are 20+ years older than me and 40+ pounds heavier than me. For them, the “tummy tuck” part of DIEP reconstruction is a godsend. For me, not so much. I’d happily go back to having a slight pooch if it meant not having a 17-inch scar across my belly. No question. 

Lest I’m not clear, let me reiterate: I’m thrilled with the fine work that the highly skilled docs did. Going from a concaved chest wall that had endured multiple tissue excisions to an adequately stacked chest was a small miracle, performed by my 2 docs and their professional team. Knowing that there were 4 people conducting the transformation was immensely reassuring as I underwent the DIEP. This talented group made it possible for this beleaguered phoenix rise from the ashes, no doubt.

But this phoenix isn’t happy with reincarnation alone. This phoenix craves the return to what used to be, but what is no more. 




Pink ribbon club, celebrity style

NBC Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondent Andrea Mitchell is the latest public figure to share the dreaded news with the world: she’s been diagnosed with breast cancer. She announced her diagnosis and her “terrific prognosis” on the air last week.

Mitchell no doubt shocked her viewers when she said, “I had planned to be hiking in Wyoming last week, but instead discovered that I am now among the one in eight women in this country–incredibly, one in eight–who have had breast cancer.”

She seemed to stumble a bit on the words “who have had breast cancer,” perhaps because the news is relatively new for her and like most people who receive such a shocking diagnosis, her brain was still working hard to process the reality.

I’m not going to comment on the verbage she chose and my objection to the past-tense idea that she had breast cancer. My Cancerchick blogger friends have covered it more succinctly than I could, and while I think Mitchell is a little kookoo for assuming her cancer “journey” is over so soon after it began, one thing I’ve learned on my own long, involved “journey” is not to judge a fellow Cancerchick. Just as I learned firsthand that no one has a right to tell anyone else how to grieve (and if you try it, I will punch you in the brain), I believe that every Cancerchick has the right to conduct her “journey” however she sees fit.

Some of us are loud & proud with the disease and want everyone to know about every twist, turn, and detour on the “journey.” Some are guardedly private and keep everything quiet. Some go kicking and screaming into the OR, radiation suite, and infusion room. Some arm themselves with all the latest research and become fonts of useful information for other Cancerchicks. It’s very personal, and as varied as cancer’s victims are, so too are their responses to it.

I admit that as much as I hate to hear about one more woman joining the pink ribbon club, part of me feels a little less than compassionate toward Mitchell and her diagnosis. She’s 64 years old — more than 20 years older than I was when diagnosed. As far as I can tell, she has no kids — and if she does, they’re old enough to understand this breast cancer mess. I’m pretty sure she’s not juggling homework and the care & feeding of young kids while also battling the beast.

As for Mitchell’s other plans, to be hiking instead of hearing words that will forever change her life, I have one piece of advice: get used to it. As the sage John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while we’re busing making other plans,” and cancer has a crafty and crappy way of infringing on those plans.

Me, I was busy living an ordinary suburban life, packing lunches, driving carpool, and running my kids to baseball and tennis when I wasn’t on the tennis court myself. I admit I had no aspirations to hike in Wyoming. I’d spent many an hour volunteering at our elementary school and was contemplating other ways to give back to my community. A perfectly ordinary life, some days better than others but most filled with laughter, good friends, and happy times.

Once cancer picked me in the great genetic lottery, much of that perfectly ordinary life changed. All of my brain power was rerouted to disseminating this terrible information, researching options, facing the hard truths, and making a plan to conquer this vicious beast. I started a Caring Bridge journal to keep my friends & family informed, and remember writing this one week after my diagnosis:

“Today the exhaustion has set in, and the strain of keeping up with my regular life and taking on this new job of facing cancer has hit me hard. Nothing a cold bottle of Piper Sonoma can’t fix, but I truly feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I’m fixin’ to get into my jammies and climb into bed. Today is one week to the day of diagnosis, and it feels like I’ve run a marathon. Maybe two.”

I hope Andrea Mitchell has a good pair of running shoes. Even in her caught-it-early optimism about the battle that is breast cancer, even with “a terrific prognosis,” the race is long. I do hope that Mitchell is correct in her prediction and that she’s able to get rid of her cancer “in one fowl swoop” as my sweet friend Paula’s 12-year-old son Boyd said about my cancer. But I also hope she knows that in this cancer “journey” there are lots of twists & turns along with many, many detours that test one’s patience, zaps one’s strength, exhaust one’s resources, maim one’s body, and stress one to the max.


Remembering

Halfway through my second pregnancy in early September, I went for my sonogram appointment. This would be my second sonogram — the one in which the baby’s gender could be revealed. Trevor and I had opted to not find out, wanting to be surprised as we had been with Payton. There are so few genuine surprises in life, and we wanted to hear “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” at the moment of birth.

Even though we had specified our preference to keep the baby’s gender a surprise, something went wrong at that appointment, and the doctor and sonogram technician let it slip. My surprise was ruined. I was devastated in the manner of a hormonally-charged, type-A mother who was stressed from dealing with a shockingly willful toddler at home. I thought this was the worst thing that could happen to me.

Little did I know that within 3 years, my sweet mama would be taken from the Earth by the vicious beast that is cancer, and that I myself would go toe-to-toe with said beast.

The date of the ruined sonogram was September 10th, 2001–the day before the bottom fell out of our collective world, and showed me in no uncertain terms that I had no earthly idea about the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I went to bed that night sad and frustrated and pissed off at the doctor and technician. How hard would it have been for them to pay attention, follow the rules, and NOT disclose the baby’s gender? Sheesh. I cried self-centered tears and railed against what I thought to be a great injustice.

Then I woke up on September 11th, eyes puffy from those self-centered tears, feeling exhausted from the travesty that had unfolded the previous day. I grumpily said good-bye to Trevor as he left for work, probably thrilled to bits to have someplace to go in which to escape his melodramatic, hormonal wife. Can’t blame him; in fact, I wished I had someplace to go in which I could escape myself.

Two-year-old Payton had spent the night with my parents across town while his cousins were visiting. I was getting ready to go meet them and start our busy day. A trip to the zoo with my rowdy toddler and his 2 young cousins would require me to ease out of my funk over the ruined surprise, and I was gearing up for that challenge.

I turned on the TV to catch the morning news as I dressed and ate breakfast and was confronted with the startling images from New York City. My pity party over the ruined surprise came to a screeching halt.

At first, no one was sure what had happened beyond a plane crashing into the World Trade Center. At first, no one suspected it was anything but a terrible accident. At first, no one could comprehend that someone would do this on purpose.

I called my parents, in shock and disbelieving. I needed another human to tell me they were seeing the same thing I was seeing, even thought I’d already confirmed it was on every channel. Except PBS. My parents, at home with 3 young kids, had Barney on TV instead of the news (that’s the kind of grandparents they were — and my dad still is). I had the unfortunate job of severing their domestic bliss that day. Surrounded by their 3 grandkids, with another on the way, they were no doubt in hog heaven. The bliss was short-lived.

The attacks on September 11th are my generation’s Kennedy assassination. I doubt anyone will ever forget where they were and what they were doing that morning.

I’m a milestones kind of girl. I like concrete things in my life, and I’m not talking about driveways. I like a tangible, structured world, and milestones are a big part of that. Some milestones are happy, like Payton‘s and Macy‘s birthdays; some are poignant and sad, like the anniversary of my mom’s death; some are sobering, like my first cancer-versary.

And some milestones, like today’s 10-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, and our country in general, defy commentary. 

As Trevor and I looked at the newspaper today, he wondered why we commemorate this event–why would we want to remember and make a big fuss over our defeat?

Good question, but to me, the remembering isn’t about the defeat or even the event as much as it is the people. The innocent victims, the grieving families, the stunned citizens thousands of miles away from NYC, the public servants who rose to the occasion, putting their own lives and health at risk to serve others and do things that fall so far outside of their official job duties as to be unimaginable.

Perhaps it’s impossible to separate the people from the event. Perhaps they are so intertwined as to render a separation not feasible.

The bravery shown by the first responders that day defies commentary. Firefighter Mike Kehoe was one of many who put his own life on the line this day 10 years ago. Like a salmon swimming upstream, he was going up while hordes of desperate people fled the South Tower.

There are no words to adequately convey the selflessness, the courage, the principles. The walking wounded must have been overwhelming to these brave souls, yet they kept going.

The images are numerous, and the stories of heroism are legendary — both in size and in scope. On September 11, 2001, when American Airlines flight 11 crashed into the North Tower at 8:46 a.m. ET at 466 mph, between the 93rd and the 99th floors, and when United flight 175 crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center at 9:03 a.m. ET at 590 mph, between the 77th and 85th floors, our world changed forever. 

Meanwhile, American Airlines flight 77 took off from Dulles Airport in DC, bound for Los Angeles. With 5 hijackers on board, it crashed into the Pentagon at 9:37 a.m. ET. All 59 people on board plus 125 on the ground were killed.

When United flight 93 departed Newark, that same morning at 8:42–40 minutes late–a new group of posthumous heroes was born. Todd Beamer’s command of “Let’s roll” as the passengers confronted the hijackers became a rallying cry for the entire nation. Beamer’s wife, Lisa, was pregnant with a baby girl, same as me. She delivered Morgan Kay two days before I delivered Macy. A simple twist of fate dictated that Morgan would grow up without her daddy while Macy had hers by her side. 

With a simple twist of fate, lives changed, and something so unimaginable had happened to the greatest nation on Earth. Flight 93 crashed to the ground near Shanksville, PA, 124 miles away from our nation’s capitol, at 10:03 a.m. ET. The 40 people — passengers and crew — on board that plane gave up their own lives to ensure that the hijackers’ plan to crash into the White House would not come to fruition. 

The images we watched that morning on live TV didn’t seem real, and our brains struggled to process what we were seeing but could not believe.

In ways big and small, our world changed. Forever.

Our sense of security, in general, was shattered. Things we’d taken for granted–US superiority, the safety of our skies, the normalcy of life in America–were upended.

We were about to learn that life would never be the same. Even thousands of miles from Ground Zero, the Pentagon, and the field in rural Pennsylvania, and even though we didn’t personally know anyone who died that day, our lives would never be the same.

We’ve all heard the horrifying numbers, yet 10 years later they still seem surreal. Some 3,000 people died from the attacks on this day 10 years ago. 343 New York firefighters. 23 New York cops. 37 Port Authority police officers. 658 people from one company, Cantor Fitzgerald.

More than 1,600 people lost their spouse or partner that day. And more than 3,051 kids lost a parent. This is what is worth remembering.

(all images courtesy of googleimages. com, nationalgeograhic.com, and my iPhotos)


Fiat fever!

I’m very fortunate to have a good and generous friend in the car business. Thanks to the Rajah, I have been tooling around town this week in the hottest car to hit the streets in a long time — the Fiat 500C. It’s even better than the <a title="I Fiat 500 I drove a while back.

I am in love. The industry’s talking heads have lots of good things to say about this car, namely that “the cutest car just got cuter” with the addition of the fully-automatic canvas soft top. The 500C is super cute, super fun and super chic. I love every single thing about it, which came as a bit of a surprise for this card-carrying member of the “bigger is better” SUV club. Downsizing from a Tahoe loaded with more features that I even know how to use to a Fiat that could practically fit inside the bed of a pickup truck is extreme. And fantastic. And liberating. Oh so very liberating. 

I’ve had so much fun driving this zippy car. I’ll admit, I just wanted to drive it but wasn’t even considering buying it. My Tahoe is cool and comfy and big enough for a family to live in, but after driving the Fiat I realized the Tahoe is not fun. Or zippy. Or chic. It’s nice looking, luxurious, and functional, but not fun. And don’t we all need more fun in our lives?

I’m not a die-hard convertible lover. Trevor has had several convertibles over the last 15 years, and I have to say I’ve never loved any of them. Every once in a while, on a beautiful day, it’s fun to take his car, but I never wanted a convertible.

Until now.

The Fiat’s 3-way power retractable roof changed my opinion about convertibles.

fiatusa.com

The 2-layer canvas roof is awesome. With the push of a button, you have 3 options for topless excitement: sunroof, in which the top slides back from the windshield; panoramic, in which the top slides back further to open up the roof over the back seat; and the full monty, in which the entire roof folds itself accordian-style into a neat stack above the trunk. This effortless motion is quiet, smooth, and fast. And the best part: you can operate the roof while driving up to 50 mph. If raindrops start falling on your head, no need to pull over to put the top up, just push the button as you keep on truckin’. Multitasking at its finest. The rear window is glass, and it covertly slides out of sight when the roof opens. Another super smart feature is that when the roof is open and you need to access the trunk, the car automatically moves the neatly-folded pile up a bit and out of the way, allowing full access to the trunk. If only everything in life worked that smoothly.

caranddriver.com

Perhaps the best part of the 500C is that when the top is open, the roof rails stay in place. It’s quiet and you’re less exposed to road noise, allowing for normal conversation and stereo volume with much less wind. It’s having your cake and eating it, too: you still get the convertible experience without the wind-blown hair. 

The divided side-view mirror on the driver’s side is nice too. The smaller pane of glass shows a more remote view of the traffic behind, so changing lanes is safer. The specs are in line with what you’d expect from a small, sporty car. The engine is a 4 cylinder, 84 cubic inches (whatever that means). The 16 valve engine has 101 hp. The 6-speed automatic that I’m driving is plenty zippy in the 40 to 50 mph range, which is the majority of my driving. On the highway, you’re not going to win a drag race with a bigger car with a more muscley engine, but you shouldn’t be drag racing on the highway anyway. The top speed is 110 mph, which is plenty fast even on Houston freeways. This little beauty weighs somewhere around 2,550 pounds and I’m no car expert but am guessing its lithe frame accounts for its zippiness. (I think I just made that word up but am granting Fiat full permission to use it in promotional materials.)

It may be small, but it’s safe. With 7 airbags, I feel very secure, and I like that the 500C earned Best in Class for rear seat leg and shoulder room, as well as Best in Class for interior sound quality. Another safety feature is the Blue&Me, Fiat’s collaboration with Microsoft that provides hands-free mobile access in the car. As long as your phone is in the car, whether on the dashboard or in your purse, you can make and receive calls using the in-vehicle, voice-activated Blue&Me system.

The gas mileage makes me want to dance, then drive around all day. It sips instead of guzzling (hear that, you greedy Tahoe?). The standard transmission gets slightly better gas mileage than the automatic, at 30 mpg city/38 highway, but the automatic is no slouch at 27 mpg city/36 highway. Even with my limited radius of driving, i.e., noncommuter driving, I was filling up my SUV to the tune of $80 to $90 every week or 10 days. The Fiat can go, go, go on its petite 10-gallon tank. I always dreaded filling up my SUV, not only because of the cost but also because it took forever to quench that beast’s thirst. The Fiat fill-ups are quick & easy, just the way I like it. 

I haven’t attempted this pose, because I don’t actually own the car yet, but this chick at the 500C launch party in England makes it look tempting.

Supermodel Elle Macpherson has the exact car I’m driving, except her steering wheel is on the other side. She’s a loyal Fiat owner who’s been quite outspoken in her love for these cars.  “I love the Fiat 500C, it has that sexy, cool, Italian thing going on!” 

With all the color combinations and the retro styling in the interior, it’s as much a fashion accessory as a car. Here’s the inside of Elle’s 500C, which looks just like mine except for the stickshift and the steering wheel on the right sideHere’s mine.The bone-colored leather steering wheel is so fine, and the shiny red accents across the dash are the most stylish thing in the car world. 

George Clooney is a Fiat fan, too. Check this out.

In one article I read about the Fiat 500C, the proclamation was made that “If you like being the center of attention, never has the price of admission been this low.” This car most definitely gets people’s attention. I’ve seen drivers craning their necks to get a better look as we drive; several times I’ve come out of the store to find someone taking a picture of the Fiat in the parking lot. I’ve answered lots of questions (how does it drive? what’s the gas mileage? how much do they cost? what colors are available?) and happily introduced the curious people in my neck of the woods to this cute little car. 

At the New York Auto Show, the 500C was called “relentlessly adorable” and it was said that its “oddball modernism still astonishes.” It’s “super-chic, super-stylish, and effectively retro.” Nice. 

I read another review that had this to say about this little Fiat: “The new 500 is remarkably similar to its predecessor with a flowing and harmonic design which softly mutters – rather than screams – retro. In flowing Italian. The end result of Fiat’s effort is a car that people smile at – on the streets, in parking lots and in traffic jams. Not many cars can be called ‘sweet’, but the Fiat 500 can definitely satisfy any automotive sweet tooth.”

If you need a sweet little Fiat, get with the good people at Fiat of Clear Lake. Tell Joey and Donald that you need a dose of Fiat fun. Ciao!

 

 

 


Sausage casing

It’s been 2 weeks since my revision surgery; the good news is I’m healing. The bruising that I subjected y’all to seeing is much, much better thanks mostly to my stellar lymphedema and massage specialist, Tammy. She did some manual lymph drainage on my bruised areas Friday, and by Sunday the bruising was almost gone. For real. The bad news is that the healing is ongoing. Why is that bad news? Because I’m impatient, man, and I’m ready to be done with this stage so I can get back to my regular life — albeit temporarily, in between revisions — and pretend to be a normal person who’s not affected by cancer.

Yes, I know, I’m far from normal. And yes, I know I’m waaaaaay affected by cancer. And furthermore, I know it’s never over. But I’m impatient nonetheless.

In addition to being an impatient patient in general, I’m so super ready to be done with this latest round of healing for two rather large reasons: it’s perfect weather for tennis, yet I can’t play; and I’m sick to death of the compression garment.

This is what mine looks like — although that’s not me in the photo; it’s someone from googleimages. My garment, which I refer to as sausage casing, comes up higher beyond my waist and goes down lower. It’s basically a thick fabric (mostly spandex but way thicker than workout clothes) with a 4-inch-wide waistband that sits just under my newly plumped breasts and ends mid-calf. It has a zipper on each leg that extends from mid-thigh to the top of the waistband, and multiple hook & eye closures under the zipper. Lovely, huh? I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that it is HOT or the fact that I have to wear it 24/7. It’s still summertime in Houston, with highs in the mid-90s. The sausage casing is not a warm-weather accessory. Both of those facts are sucky to the nth degree.

What’s the purpose of the sausage casing, besides an instrument of cruel & unusual punishment for the unlucky recipient of random gene mutation that causes breast cancer in an otherwise healthy 40-year-old woman? That’s a question I’ve pondered a lot over the last 14 days. The last LONG 14 days.

The theory is that the sausage casing reduces movement of the skin that’s been traumatized/sliced & diced/sucked out/reallocated, et al. Ideally, the skin needs to stay in a compressed state and it needs to avoid any unnecessarily movements, because unnecessary movements can affect internal wounds and get in the way of healing. The garment also decreases swelling and promotes the flow of blood and lymph fluids, working to move the yucky stuff (blood from the massive bruising and other toxins) out of the body.

That’s all well and good, but let me tell you people, the sausage casing is not comfortable. Not one bit. It’s HOT (did I mention that??) and while the spandex helps it look and feel sleek and soft, it’s still thick and tight. It also irritates the back of my knees when they bend, and sometimes it bunches up like old-lady pantyhose and has to be yanked and tugged back into place. I try not to do that in public, but sometimes I can’t stand it. The damned thing is snug enough that one spot on my right hip is caved in (see the right hip area in the photo above). Yep, caved in. And yes, it can be permanent. Dr S was a little concerned about it during my visit yesterday, and if he’s concerned, so am I. He had a solution, of course, but I’m still a bit concerned. His solution? Extra padding, because the sausage casing isn’t enough to deal with. So now, in addition to the sausage casing and its bulky zippers, I have a wad of soft cotton stuffed in the casing, between my caved-in skin and the second-skin of my garment. The wad of cotton shifts around a bit, so I’m constantly having to adjust it to make sure it stays between me and the point of the garment that is caving me in. This means that I’m not only yanking and tugging the sausage casing, I’m reaching in over the waistband to rearrange the wad of cotton. I know, it’s mesmerizingly attractive, right? Stop the ride, I want to get off. Enough already.

I guess it could be worse — I could have the sausage casing on my face:


5-0

Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester is one of my heroes. Not only because he’s a bad-ass left-handed pitcher who delivers for my favorite team but also because he’s just celebrated a milestone worth coveting: 5 years of being cancer-free.

Lester was just 22 years old when he was scratched from the Sox lineup in late August 2006 because of back pain. At that point in his rookie season, he was 7-2 and his pitching was on fire. After a few tests, doctors at Mass General determined that his lymph nodes were enlarged, and a few days later they delivered unthinkable news to an uncomprehending pitcher: Lester had anaplastic large-cell lymphoma, a rare and fast-spreading cancer. The Red Sox announced the news on September 2, 2006, and manager Terry Francona said that Lester was beginning a “journey that few us can comprehend.”

I’m almost embarrassed to type the words “being diagnosed with cancer is devastating.” Duh. If only I could invent new words to convey the devastation. If only. For a 22-year-old major league pitcher, I imagine the news was shocking and gut-wrenching, to say the least. As a 40-year-old non-pro athlete, the news of my own diagnosis was shocking and gut-wrenching. Duh.

Lucky (?) for Lester, his type of cancer is non-Hodgkins lymphoma and is highly treatable, with a cure rate of upwards of 80 percent. I’m sure his youth and his physical fitness helped, too, but no matter who you are, the diagnosis is a bitch, and Tito was right, Les was on a journey that few can comprehend.

No one thinks it’s going to happen to them, but cancer bulldozes through millions of people’s lives every single day–atheletes, celebrities, and regular people alike. Sometimes I think: if someone like Jon Lester isn’t safe from cancer, who is??

Not me, obviously.

Lester and I have a similar attitude toward our cancer. “It sucks,” he said in more than one interview. “But you can’t let it define you.”

“I hate hospitals to begin with,” he says. “I hate needles. I hate anything related to doctors. Getting blood drawn every 10 days [during chemo] … it drags on. You’re tired all the time. You want to do stuff, but you can’t. You’ve got to watch where you go because of germs. It’s not something you would wish upon anybody.”

Yep, that’s right.

Lester says as a pro athelete, his pursuit of excellence helped him demand a willingness to accept constant physical challenges, something with which cancer patients are quite familiar. He spoke of his frustration of feeling weak, of wanting to be active but his body saying no. He learned to listen to his body and to accept that he wasn’t in control of every aspect of the treatment and recovery process. I’m no pro, but I know that feeling — of wanting to overcome but being thwarted at every turn but none other than your own body. Suck.

Lester endured 6 cycles of chemo and lost his hair but not his drive. He wanted to pitch again, and to be known as a great pitcher, not as a cancer survivor.

On October 28–barely more than two years after being diagnosed–Lester started and earned a win in the final game of the 2007 World Series against the Rockies. The following May, he pitched a no-hitter against the Royals.

taking the mound for the final game of the World Series

no hitter for Lester!!!

I’d say Lester did it. He’s a pitcher first, and a cancer survivor second. Throw hard, Les!