The best news in a long time
Posted: May 6, 2011 Filed under: breast cancer, drugs, infection, tennis | Tags: Antibiotics, infectious disease, mycobacterium, nosocomial infection, Pommery, post-mastectomy infection, Seinfeld, tennis, witch is dead, Wizard of Oz 16 CommentsAfter 267 days, I finally heard the words I’ve been dreaming about: “We are discontinuing the antibiotics.”
Cue the hallelujah chorus.
I saw Dr Samo instead of Dr Grimes today, and he delivered the most-excellent news. He is my new best friend. All of the cultures run during The Big Dig came back negative, which means we can safely assume the post-mastectomy infection is gone. Yes, at long last, the mycobacterium has been vanquished.
Let me say that again: the infection is gone. I’m cured.
No more twice-daily dose of minocycline and bactrim. No more nausea. No more planning my consumption of food & drink around my doses. No more remembering to take my drugs. No more antibiotics.
Oh, happy day!
I’m still in a mild state of shock, or maybe just slightly buzzed. Could be the celebratory champagne straight away after returning from the medical center (duh), and the margarita at my tennis team’s end-of-season lunch. 
We broke out the good stuff and gathered our close circle of friends who would never say “it’s too early” and question the wisdom of popping a cork at 11 a.m. To Amy, my chief medical correspondent and chauffeur to & from appointments: thank you. For everything. To Jill & Keith: thank you for rushing right over, then leaving as soon as the bubbly was gone. But for planning to come back with dinner.
My tennis team’s luncheon was already planned, but how fun to celebrate my big news with some of my favorite girls? And how cool that they gave me a huge, signed tennis ball? Thanks, girls!
The infection is gone. Ding dong, the witch is dead.
I half expected the citizens of Munchkin Land to come out and dance their little legs off and sing in their froggy voices to celebrate.
I admit, I’ve been wondering all week if my visit to the infectious disease doc today would result in the end of the abx. I was trying to not get my hopes up, and while I knew not to expect it, I would have been disappointed if they’d said keep on swallowing those pills. No matter. It’s all good now.
I will also admit that when the nurse was taking my BP and temp and asking me the reason for my visit, I felt funny saying “yes” to her question of “are you here to see if it’s time to get off of the antibiotics?” It was almost too much to hope for. Almost.
Then when Dr Samo uttered those glorious words of “We are discontinuing the antibiotics,” I was stunned. It was a bit surreal. Once I grasped what he’d said, my first thought was that “discontinuing” meant taking a break, not stopping them altogether. 
It was almost too much to take in.
As my best buddy Ed said, “I feel I should shove you and yell ‘Get Out!’ like Elaine on Seinfeld.
“Get Out!” indeed.
The end of the antibiotics is like an end of an era. My life has revolved around them for so long now–one week shy of a year, in which I’ve been on some form of abx, whether oral or IV. Nearly a year on some pretty powerful drugs, and none of them the fun kind. Nope, these are the ones that tear up your stomach and make your insides cry like a baby.
But no more.
Big sigh.
The fat lady can sign her heart out right now.
Wastin’ away again…
Posted: May 6, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: concert, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, Jimmy Buffet, KILT, Parrotheads, Woodlands Pavillion 3 CommentsWe were knee-deep in Margaritaville last night. It was Cinco de Mayo, which is a big deal in this neck of the woods–and the Jimmy Buffet show at the Pavillion in the Woodlands.
We never did find that lost shaker of salt. I’m not hurtin’ this morning, but I sure am tired; when the show ended, it was way past my bedtime. I didn’t close my eyes on the way home in the limo, but only because the Rajah entertained us all with Seinfeld trivia for the hour-long ride home. If the Rajah is involved, you know you’re gonna be laughing. He still owes me $100, though, for thinking that “the Fat Pineapple,” aka Israel “Iz” Kamakawiwo’ole is still alive. Sadly, the Hawaiian crooner died of a heart attack in 1997, but his music lives on and is particularly pleasant to drunken concertgoers at the end of a show. His rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” lilted through the speaker system at the end of the show last night and like the Pied Piper, led the Parrotheads out of the Pavillion and into the night. As melodious as his music is, sadly “Iz” is dead.
Pay up, Rajah.
Never having been to a Jimmy Buffet show, I didn’t expect to see quite as much of a spectacle as we did. Lots of people in the later stages of adulthood consuming a lot of alcohol while dressed in outrageous outfits makes for some pretty good people-watching. 
And this.
At least this guy had the decency to wear a t-shirt over his grass skirt. Saw a couple of hairy men in grass skirts and coconut bras. Yikes! I’d heard that these things happen at a Buffet show, and now I know it’s true.
There’s a tie for best costume, neither of which I got a photo of so you’ll have to use your imagination. The ladies with the straw hats decked out with all manner of beach paraphernalia, including light-up margarita glasses, share the honor with the senior citizens riding matching Rascal scooters with 2 stuffed parrots on their baskets each. Parrotheads cruising in style.
One of the funniest things of the night was when we were waiting in line for drinks and Staci, in her usual charming fashion, started to chat up the person behind us. He asked a few questions, and she told him we were at the show as guests of a radio station, and that I was the on-air personality. The man thought he was meeting a local celebrity and wanted to know which station. I told him I wasn’t at liberty to say, but Staci told him KILT (a local country station). I know nothing about country music. Nothing. So I was hoping he didn’t ask me any work-related questions. Luckily, he just wanted to know if I’ve met “Bob the Singing Cowboy, ” who I gather is another local celeb. Staci nudged me and said sure we have! He’s great! The fella told me that Bob lives across the street from his dad, Cletus (I am not making that up). I told him it must be great to have the Singing Cowboy so close to home, and that I’d be sure to mention it on my show in the morning.
It’s always an adventure when I’m hanging with my runnin’ buddy.
Luckily, it was time for the show to begin, so we scooted off to our seats before Cletus’s son could ask me for free tickets to the upcoming tractor pull.
The show was nice and mellow, and even after all these years, Jimmy can still sing. He seemed to have a great time, and entertained the crowd not just with music but also photo slide shows and banter. He did the entire show barefoot, which made my feet hurt just looking at him.
A good time was had by all, but I think the parrots of the world are a little embarrassed.
Cinco de Mayo
Posted: May 4, 2011 Filed under: food | Tags: Austin TX, Cedar Door, Cinco de Mayo, Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion, Jimmy Buffet concert, margaritas, Osterizer classic blender, Parrot Head, Pearl Light beer, stirrings cocktail mixes, Triple Sec, Uncle Dicks margarita mix 5 Comments
Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, and as a public service, I’m reminding y’all to get your margarita supplies now, before they’re all gone. While it’s not a Mexican holiday or even an American holiday, it is a reason to drink margaritas. I don’t know for sure, but I think margs are the official drink of Texas. If not margs, it must be Pearl Light beer. With a lime. But tomorrow it’s all about the margs.
How fortuitous is it that the Jimmy Buffet show in the Woodlands coincides with Cinco de Mayo? I’m not now nor do I aspire to be a Parrot Head, but I’m happy to hop in a limo with a group of friends and eat tacos and drink margaritas on the way to hearing live music from a legend.
Because I’m feeling generous, I’m going to share my world-famous margarita recipe. Back in the day, I was known as the Reina of the Blender, and my margs have stood the test of time.
Before I give you the recipe, let’s talk about the blender. If you have a $10 blender with 16 settings, including “frappe,” donate that piece of junk and get yourself a real mixmaster. Crushing ice is serious business when it comes to frozen margs, and an amateur blender just can’t hang.
This is the one I have. It’s the Osterizer Classic with the stainless steel carafe. Margaritas and glass carafes don’t mix, IMHO. 
It has 2 speeds, “on” and “pulse,” and that’s all you need for blending. I’ve had this blender for a decade and it’s still going strong, even after being put to use a lot. If blenders had mileage, this one would be high. Really high.
On to the recipe!
You’re going to need some frozen fruit. This gives the marg that creamy texture, almost like a smoothie. In fact, the addition of fruit qualifies my margs as a health drink, so you can have as many as you want. Gotta get those 14 daily servings of fruits and vegetables in, people.
You can cheat and buy bagged frozen fruit at the grocery store, but if you really want to be authentic, you gotta buy whole fruit, cut it up and freeze it yourself. I like watermelon but have also done strawberry and peach, and grapefruit is very refreshing. Juice a bunch of fresh grapefruits and freeze the juice, either in ice cube trays or ziploc baggies. Of course you can also mix & match your fruits, so if you want a tutti fruiti marg, have at it.
Take your frozen fruit and fill your blender carafe halfway. Fill the other half, or the rest of the way to the top, with ice. The smaller the ice cubes, the smoother the marg, so if your ice maker spits out wonkin’ big chunks, you might want to buy a bag of ice.
Once the blender is half filled with fruit and half filled with ice, add 1 cup good quality margarita mix (i.e., no corn syrup and neon green artificial color). I like Stirrings brand, which is widely available, or Cedar Door, if you can find it at your liquor or grocery store. The latter is made right here in Texas, and is now sold online, so if you’re not lucky enough to live in the Lone Star State, they’ll ship your mix to ya. The Cedar Door in Austin is famous for its Mexican Martinis, which require a whole ‘nother post. Their mix, however, is equally good in margs or Mexican Martinis.
This is the neon-colored, artificially flavored junk you want to avoid. Yes, you’ll have to pay a bit more for the brands I’ve mentioned, but it’s worth it.
If you’re cheap or desperate, you can use either of these brands of mix with my blessing:
ZingZang uses real sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup. It claims to be “Not Just Another Margarita Mix,” and it’s pretty good but not great. Uncle Dick’s uses HFCS but is still worthy because it contains grapefruit juice, lime juice, and lemon juice (from concentrate), so it has a nice tartness to it. And it has a cute label with a big, fat bulldog with his paw wrapped around a marg.
Ok, so add 1 cup of mix to the fruit and ice, followed by 1 cup of good tequila, whatever brand blows your skirt up; I’m not going to lecture on the booze like I did on the mix. However, I do think there’s something to the idea that the cheaper the tequila, the bigger the hangover. Don’t waste your Don Julio 1942 or your Harradura in a frozen marg, though. Save that for the sippers in your life.
Throw in about a quarter cup of Triple Sec or Cointreau, along with the juice of 2 limes, and blend well. The noise of the blender will be deafening for a couple of minutes, but so very worth it. 
Mix up a batch and let me know what you think.
I’ll call him Twelvie
Posted: May 3, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized 6 Comments
My firstborn is 12 years old today. Happy birthday, Super P!
I’m not going to get all nostalgic and
wonder where the time has gone, but it’s fun to see the “before” and “after” pics as my baby boy grows up. His face hasn’t changed all that much, even after 12 years.
This birthday started off like all the others, with a special birthday breakfast on his personalized plate. The menu may change over the years, but the plate is the same. 
He was impatient, like his mama, and decided he was ready to enter this big, wonderful world a little ahead of schedule. In fact, I hadn’t finished my birthing classes or packed my hospital bag when he announced that he’d be making his way into the world. Me being a schedule-driven kind of person, and not having finished the classes or read ahead in the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book, I didn’t realize that when your water breaks, your baby is going to be born, whether it’s ahead of schedule or right on time.
That was my first lesson in parenting. The lessons continue to come, 12 years later. 
We’ve learned a lot in the last 12 years, about how fun little boys are, especially this boy. As a baby, he was always smiling, eternally happy, and we learned that he had the most infectious giggle. I know, I know, every parent thinks their kid is special, but when it came to giggling, he really was.
This kid smiled all the time, and didn’t care if he was hot or cold, wet or dry, he smiled. As long as he wasn’t hungry, he was happy.
We got used to seeing that big smile that lit up his whole face. Nowadays, he’s a bit less gratuitious with the smiles, but when he does offer one, it’s golden. 
His hair used to be golden, too, come to think of it. How precious was he???
This is a rare shot of him not happy & smiling. Must be the fact that his shirt says Harvard and not Duke that’s got him down. 
Whether sporting an ear-to-ear grin or a shy smile, Payton was such a happy guy and such an easy baby. 
As he got older and his smiles became less plentiful, there were still times in which he knew he was obligated. This kindergarten school picture is my favorite example. He knows he is supposed to smile, and he will, but everyone’s gonna know it’s not his idea.
Every once in a while I can still get him to strike a pose.
In the early days, he loved cars & trucks & things that go. In fact, that was the name of one of his favorite books, by Richard Scarry, and one double-page spread features a huge pile-up of all the vehicles in Busytown. We’d spend hours looking at that one page.
P and his friend Brock spent a lot of time playing with Matchbox cars, dump trucks, school buses, and anything with wheels. 
We read this book so many times, it fell apart. Literally. We taped it back together but eventually had to buy another one. That child knew the name of every type of construction vehicle and from a young age could distinguish between an articulated dump truck and a lowboy. Lucky for him, living in Houston and driving on Hwy 59 afforded us lots of glimpses of all kinds of trucks. When we happened upon a construction site, it wasn’t at all unusual for me to pull over so he could watch the trucks.
His 2nd birthday party had a fire truck theme. I still have this little outfit, hanging in his closet. 
Before his 3rd birthday party, he would become a big brother to Macy. Oh, how his world changed when that little girl entered the scene. He was very protective of her, and yelled at a lady who admired Macy in the grocery store: “DON’T LOOK AT MY BABY!”
Seeing his baby sister for the very first time, the day she was born. He was probably ready to go home and play with his Thomas the Train set.
Macy’s pretty good at looking out for herself these days, but I hope her big brother always protects here nonetheless. The day we came home from the hospital he held her briefly on the couch while Maddy the wonder dog supervised. May he always be there to carry her beach pail.
Pay’s love of trucks was soon replaced by his love of baseball. He had an athlete’s body from Day One.
At age 2, he was hitting a pitched ball, and he hasn’t stopped yet. Some of the best-ever days were spent under the big tree in our front yard in Durham, Payton wanting nothing more than to hit a pitched wiffle ball, over and over.
We spent a lot of time in that yard playing baseball, and his love of the Red Sox was established early and took root. I’ve lost count of how many Red Sox shirts that boy has, but I can safely say a lot.
Every Halloween his costume has been a version of a baseball player, with the exception of Luke Skywalker one year. 
Pay turned 5 right before we left North Carolina to come home to Texas. We celebrated Pay’s birthday that year at the Durham Bulls minor league ballpark, and he got to race Wool E. Bull, the team mascot. You’ve never seen a more determined runner. He used to pump his left arm when he ran. Wonder when he stopped that.
No more truck-themed parties for this boy. It’s been all-baseball, all the time for many, many birthdays.
Back home, our little slugger started kindergarten. I love that his backpack is almost as big as he is on the first day of school.
And yes, he’s wearing his beloved Red Sox jersey, with #5 on the back for his hero, Nomar Garciaparra. I still have that jersey, too. It’s such a piece of Payton’s personal history. Now it seems so tiny I can’t imagine how he used to fit into it, but he did, and he wore it often.
He played his first Little League season that kindergarten year. It was the first of many seasons we’ve spent at the ball fields. 
Way back then and to this day, I can always spot him from afar when he’s standing on base. There’s something about his body language that changes when he’s on the field: heightened awareness, ultra-alert, and 100 percent in his element. He looks like such baby compared to the first baseman for the other team.
No matter what uniform he wears, he plays his heart out and strives to win. He’s all business on the field, and in between innings, when his team is gathering hats & gloves to take the field, he’s always the first player on the field. 
To him, 2nd place might as well be last. The few times his team has come in 2nd, we’ve had to hide the 2nd-place trophy for a few days, until he gets over being a sore loser. Lucky for him, his team usually wins, and his trophy shelf runneth over.
Some of my all-time favorite pics of my boy and his favorite sport; practicing to be a major leaguer, listening to the National Anthem:
Smiling a toothless grin at Fenway Park:
A little kid in a big stadium:
Showing off all those teeth, ecstatic to be back in Boston heading for Fenway:
Lounging at a Galveston beach house, wearing the home-town team shirt for a change:
Watching the home-town team with Dad a few weeks ago:
Occasionally he wears a shirt not featuring a baseball team, and it looks like this. Hamming it up with his ladies:
Occupying the office of Sugar Land mayor for a bit:
Even more rare than a photo of Payton not in a baseball shirt is a photo of him bundled up. This kid despises wearing warm clothes, so savor this shot of him playing in the snow in Durham. You won’t likely see it again anytime soon. In fact, when we left Texas for North Carolina, he didn’t even own a coat. We bought that one there, and probably left it there when we came home.
Other than a baseball uniform, I think the last time he wore long pants was at my mom’s funeral. He was in 1st grade. No way I was getting him in a suit, though, like his cousin Andrew, and I could almost hear my mom chiding me to leave the poor boy alone. She wouldn’t have cared if he’d come to her funeral in a Red Sox jersey.
He loves to play outside–preferably in shorts & a t-shirt– and learning to ride a bike without training wheels was a big day.
He’s a junk-food-junkie who thinks one serving a day of fruits & veg is one too many.
I think he was more excited about the corn dog than being at the Texans’ game when Monday Night Football came to Houston this year. Great seats and a field pass, but all that boy could talk about was the grub.
The first time he caught a fish, he was so excited to eat it, but when he tasted it, he wasn’t so sure about it.
I love the look on his face as he takes his first bite.
As we look back over P’s 12 years,
or somewhere in between,
I adore this child and am so glad he’s mine. Can’t wait to see what the rest of your life looks like, son.
Happy birthday, Payton!
A blow-out end to my cancer-versary
Posted: May 2, 2011 Filed under: breast cancer, kids | Tags: DD coffee, Dunkin Donuts, missing mom, NYFD, Osama bin laden, pancreatic cancer, President Obama, sonogram, terrorist attacks, World Trade Center, yellow lab 3 Comments
It has been suggested by the author of this little beauty that I orchestrated the death of Osama bin Laden as a bookend to my cancer-versary celebration. He suggested that while I am “a bad-ass bitch” and have kicked cancer to the curb, this may be taking the celebration too far.
Oh, if only I had that kind of power. Oh, the things I could do. And really, who’s to say how much is too much when it comes to celebrating? I was going to write about our trip to the Museum of Fine Arts to see the National Gallery’s Impressionist exhibit yesterday, but this is way more important. Art can wait; the idea of me having that kind of power is intoxicating!
Although I don’t actually have the power to hunt down and kill the mastermind behind our national tragedy, the idea does appeal, and believe me, I have a lot of pent-up energy from my “cancer journey” and would have loved the chance to spew all that on Mr. Pure Evil. Well, it does at least give me an excuse to take a leisurely stroll down memory lane, to the days after September 11, 2001, and the events that changed the world. I’m glad that President Obama finally has some good news to report.
I can imagine him practically sprinting down this lofty hall of the White House to the press corps, ready to shout the news from the rooftops, but being bound by presidential decorum.
Many things changed when bin Laden brought his personal brand of evil to US shores. The idea that the most powerful nation in the world was not immune to an attack by a crazy man with far-reaching power and an army of jihadists was foreign to us before September 11, 2001. Our sense of security was shaken, and air travel would never be the same.
I imagine everyone has a “where were you on September 11th?” story, much like recollections of where one was when JFK was assassinated. For me, I was chasing a wildly headstrong toddler around and expecting a second bundle of wildness. 
Here I am with Wild Thing #1 in my arms and Wild Thing #2 in my belly at the Sesame Street exhibit at the Houston Children’s Museum. Yes, I notice that the 2-year-old child is almost half as long as me. That 2-year-old is fixin’ to turn 12 and can look me in the eye without a step-stool. But this is what he looked like in the days of the terrorist attack on these United States.
Wild Thing #2 turned out to be even wilder than her predecessor, and has shaken things up to a degree not even I, with my wild imagination, could have predicted. We should have known we were in for a wild ride with her, when she caused some much upheaval from the git-go. Her time in utero was not uneventful, and when she deemed it time to come into this world, she did it with a bit of an explosion. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. With her chubby cheeks and impish grin, she fooled us into thinking we were in control. 
On the day before the terrorist attacks, I had a sonogram to get a glimpse into Macy’s world. She afforded the ultrasound technicians some beautiful pictures of her swimming around in her own private pool. We didn’t want to know her gender before she was born, preferring to be surprised like we were with Payton. There are so few great surprises in life anymore, and to us, the idea of being able to tell our friends, families, and loved ones “IT’S A BOY!” or “IT’S A GIRL!” was pretty special.
We wanted to have that chance again the second time around, and told the technician and the doctor emphatically that we absolutely, positively did not want to know this baby’s gender.
Sure, no problem, they said, and proceeded on with the sonogram, talking in code to describe what they were seeing without giving it all away.
Everything was working beautifully, until they slipped, and ruined the surprise.
I thought this was the worst thing ever! The end of the world! These idiots had ruined my surprise!
I cried my eyes out that afternoon, and while I knew I was fortunate to have a healthy baby growing inside of me, I was inconsolable about having my surprise jerked away from me. The pity party was in full swing, and all the pregnancy hormones associated with Wild Thing #2 raged on through that evening.
I went to bed on September 10th with eyes swollen from crying, and awoke to the news that terrorists had attacked the World Trade Center. My pity party came to a screeching halt.
In the days that followed the attacks I was tense and restless. Rumors abounded of more attacks, and of Houston being a target because of its energy industry. I was glued to the news and gobbled up every human interest story that came my way. Three days after the attacks, in the midst of so many thousands of lost lives, we suffered another loss as Big Ed, the patriarch of our close family friends, succumbed to the ravages of pancreatic cancer.
The two events will forever be intertwined in my heart and mind. The images of September 11th are burned into our nation’s collective conscience, and the despair of cancer claiming yet another one of the good guys brought my aching heart even more sorrow. US flags flew from buildings, homes, firetrucks, even baby strollers. Patriotism had a renewed vigor, and our nation pledged to never forget the victims and the heroes of 9/11/02. Our smaller circle raised a toast to Big Ed and vowed to remember him always. If he hadn’t been stopped by cancer, I could imagine him packing all his tools and a thermos of Dunkin Donuts coffee into his pickup truck, and driving from Massachussets to New York City to lend a hand. That’s the kind of guy he was, and like the victims of the terrorist attacks, he is sorely missed, all these years later. 
It took nearly a decade, but the great karma wheel finally caught up with Osama bin Laden. A lot has changed, in the world and in my own little corner of the universe, since the terrorists came to town. My firstborn continued his wildness, but eventually settled down into a quiet, baseball-loving kid. My second child was born, and the chaos that is Macy still ensues. We moved from Sugar Land to Durham, NC, for a 2-year stint.
My sweet mama joined Big Ed in becoming yet another victim of the vicious beast we know as cancer. Maddy, the best dog in the world, thumped her old, white tail,
winked at me one last time, then left me forever. My own home was dive-bombed by cancer, and my life and that of my family changed forever. While my “cancer journey” has a happier ending than my mom’s and Big Ed’s, it’s left me shaken and uneasy, constantly searching the sky for approaching planes.
I shudder to think at the number of lives lost and the huge amount of money spent on this war on terror, so for today, I will celebrate the triumph of good vs evil.
Royal wedding watch party: success!
Posted: April 30, 2011 Filed under: food | Tags: Carole Middleton, Catherine Walker, champagne, fascinator hats, Kate and William, Princess Beatrice and Eugenie, Princess Diana, royal wedding, Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of Cambridge, ugly hats, Westminster Abbey 6 CommentsThis morning’s watch party, aka reason to open champagne at 9:00 a.m., was a smash success. We had all the elements of a good party: fun people, plenty of good food, copious amounts of alcohol, and high-quality people-watching.
The ladies sported fascinator hats popularized by the new Duchess of Cambridge. Seems fascinators have become all the rage since the ever-fashionable Kate favors them. Mine was the lamest one at the watch party, because it was a last-minute addition to my garden-party frock and in the interest of full-disclosure, is a clip-on flower belonging to Macy. I grabbed that out of Macy’s hair-art drawer right before the party started rather than fashioning a fascinator out of feathers, as our guests did. Jill’s mom, Joan (visiting from St. Louis) and my mother-in-law, Jody (visiting from Kentucky) had grey and lilac feathers respectively. Jill’s was blush pink, and all were lovely.
They paled in comparison, however, to Keith’s head-covering. 
Embracing the royal occasion and tradition of “frivolous, oversized hats,” Keith came up with the mother of all hats. Whimsically created with found objects, this inspiring chapeau featured a jaunty elephant, which provided the height so desired in an outlandish hat. Candace from “Phineas and Ferb” contributed a nice diagonal line and bolt of bright red. The one lone eyeball from an unseen creature in the center of the hat sends a playful yet contemplative message.
I hope those girls Beatrice and Eugenie don’t get wind of Keith’s creation. They might storm the party and gobble him, and his hat, right up.
Yikes.
It’s been said that these girls were trying to send a snarky message because their mom, Sarah Ferguson, was purposefully excluded from the royal wedding. Sweet Lord, I hope that’s the reason they chose those hideous hats.
Yesterday I wrote about William perhaps missing his mom, Princess Diana, on his special day. In my effort to avoid seeing any photos or footage of the royal wedding before my delayed watch party, I didn’t hear anything about whether there were intentional efforts by the newlyweds to include Diana’s memory, so I was super happy read this quote from William, about giving his mom’s engagement ring to his beloved: “It’s my mother’s engagement ring. Obviously she’s not going to be around to share any of the fun and excitement of it all — this was my way of keeping her close to it all.” Very nice, Wills.
There were several intentional tips of the hat (or fascinator) to Diana. Kate selected the same flowers that Diana had in her bridal bouquet. The Sweet William and lily of the valley flowers made for a demure bouquet that carried a powerful message.
Kate’s mom, Carole Middleton, chose a dress that was designed by one of Diana’s favorite designers, Catherine Walker.
Diana worked with Walker for much of the 16 years between her wedding to Charles and her untimely death, and it’s estimated that Walker designed some 1,000 frocks for the late princess, including the black dress in which Diana was buried. Walker is credited with some of Diana’s most iconic outfits.
I was glad to see that William and Kate made such an endearing effort to include Diana in the wedding. This screen shot of William next to a photo of his mama makes my heart sad and glad at the same time. Genetics are a powerful thing, and the mannerisms that parents impart to children, unbeknownst to the child, speak volumes. The fact that William exhibited the same nervous half-smile with a slightly bowed head that his mama used to exhibit is a small shard of hope that exists after the loss of someone dear. I’m sure Diana would have given her eye teeth to have been at that wedding, but hopefully she was shining down on the newlyweds and emitting some powerful motherly love.
My favorite image from the day was not of either William or Kate, nor a celebrity. 
It was William’s goddaughter, standing next to Kate on the palace balcony after the ceremony. There was a cool flyover of vintage fighter planes, and it must have been too loud for this little darlin. She reminds me a lot of the little darlin who lives at my house.
Here’s the tiniest member of the royal wedding party silently protesting, while the newlyweds share a smooch in front of the immense crowd.
Kate looked every inch the princess as she stepped out of the car to head into Westminster Abbey
and in her second outfit for the after-party, which something tells me Diana would have given an enthusiastic two thumbs up.
I think Kate would have similarly approved of our fascinators.
Wedding day thoughts
Posted: April 29, 2011 Filed under: food, kids | Tags: Charles & Diana, Jacoby Ellsbury, Kate and William, missing mom, Prince Harry, Red Sox, royal wedding, Sports Center 3 Comments
I’m not posting any pics of newlyweds William and Kate, because I’m having a little watch party for the recorded royal wedding tomorrow morning. Really, it’s a chance to drink champagne and eat scones, and I never turn down the chance to celebrate.
I’m really not all that into the royal wedding, so I’m a little sheepish about having a watch party; however, if I’m going to do it, I’m gonna do it right, and I don’t want to see any pictures of any of the festivities before my little watch party.
Apparently this requires me to stay inside my house with the blinds drawn and the computer, TV, and radio switched off.
Went to the gym first thing this morning, to un-do some of the damage I’m going to do this weekend (I’m still celebrating my cancer-versary, after all). All the ladies in the gym were talking about royal wedding this and beautiful gown that. I told LeRoy I was having a little watch party and didn’t want to see any of the footage until then. First he grilled me about what I would be eating and drinking at the party, then he said, “Good luck — there are 3 TVs upstairs and you’ll be in front of them, on the elliptical machine, for 20 minutes.”
I reminded him that I’m as stubborn as a wild hog and if I say I’m not going to see any royal wedding footage until tomorrow, then you can take that to the bank. Yes, there are indeed 3 TVs upstairs, and they were tuned to CNN, ESPN, and whatever channel airs Regis & Kelly’s show. Two of the three were showing royal wedding footage (good old reliable “Sports Center” had NFL draft junk and baseball highlights). Thank you, “Sports Center!”
Although, I do have a bone to pick with SC, which plays on a seemingly constant loop at my house, thanks to the 11-year-old boy who resides with me. In this morning’s baseball footage, which I saw once at home and once at the gym, they dutifully covered the Red Sox’s 6-2 pounding of the Orioles, but they lost a golden opportunity and made the pitiful decision to show Adrian Gonzalez instead of Jacoby Ellsbury.
WTH??
The baseball highlights are brief, and photo opps are precious. Nothing against A-Gon; he’s a stand-up player who’s a lot of fun to watch. But really?? Showing him instead of my boy crush, Ells? Terrible TV journalism.
Ells had a great game and is on a hot streak: last night he had 3 hits, as he had done the night before, and was the hero with a bases-loaded single up the middle to score 2 runs. Ells is 6-for-10 the last two games, and I predict even more great things for him.
Since Ells was robbed–along with the women of America–here’s the Ells shot for the day. I could post more, but I’ll be good.
You’re welcome, ladies.
I’ll be writing a scathing complaint to SC after I finish this post.
Back to the royal wedding.
I managed to not see any footage, a victory that matters to no one, but there it is nonetheless. I did get to thinking, though, about the other royal wedding in my lifetime, that of Charles and Diana. 
They tied the royal knot in July of 1981, and I had just turned 12. My family had recently traveled to London, and there was quite a lot of hub-bub about the grand event, and being an impressionable young girl, I thought the whole thing was very exciting. My mom and I got up at the crack of dawn to watch it live, London time, and I feel like a bit of loser for having my watch party the day after, but who the hell wants to come over at 3 in the morning? Even for champagne. 
Charles and Diana’s wedding seemed to be a fairy tale, with the grandeur of the monarchy and all the pomp & circumstance that goes along with it. They were elegant and lovely, although my mom couldn’t understand why her wedding dress was so wrinkled! I didn’t notice that, but did wonder if the fashion-forward Di ever looked back and regretted her hairstyle on that momentous day. I know I regretted mine.
Sadly, their fairy tale didn’t have a happy ending. Even though Di carried out her princessy duties with great elan, she never quite fit in with the other royals, including her husband. Her death in a car wreck in August 1997, at the age of 36, was tragic. Just tragic. That she was so young, and was just starting to find some happiness, and that she had two young boys who were the light of her life, is just so very tragic. But as we all know, tragedy knows no bounds and strikes randomly. 
She seemed to be a fun-loving mom who wanted her boys to be noble but also real. Now that I’m a mother, I know how hard it is to raise kids, period, much less royal ones. I’ve known plenty of kids who were royal pains, my own included, but these boys seem to be the real deal. They seem to know how to be serious about their official family duties but also lead full and individualized lives.
Of course, all this got me thinking about William on his wedding day, and how very much he must be missing his mama, despite all the excitement and the festivities. I’ve heard it said that William’s new wife shares some of Diana’s traits, and I hope that her legacy lives on through this young couple.
Marriage is hard, plain and simple. It requires hard work, even when one’s spouse is easy-going and fun-loving, like mine is. Carrying out one’s marriage under the microscope and in the spotlight must be even harder, as the world saw with Charles and Diana. I hope the newlyweds have an easier time, and I hope Kate learned from Diana’s example about how to remain true to yourself while fulfilling your obligations.
I’ll never forget watching Diana’s funeral, and seeing the millions of people lining the streets. Emotions were raw as a nation, and perhaps the entire world, mourned the loss of “the People’s Princess.” 
Watching those teenage boys, one of whom was about my own boy’s age now, walking along the procession route for their mama’s funeral is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.
The grace and maturity William and Harry displayed is a testament to the woman who raised them.
They had to have been so shocked, so sad, and so bereft, yet they knew the eyes of the world were upon them, and like their mama had done so many times, they bucked up and got on with it, fulfilling their duty like the princes they are.
The most indelible image of that day, for me, is this one.
The letter from William and Harry inscribed “Mummy” that rode atop the carriage that carried her coffin to Westminster Abbey.
Nosey-Rosey that I am, I would LOVE to know what those sweet boys wrote to their mama. Of course, I wouldn’t really intrude on such a sacred thing as that, but I am curious. I wrote a letter to my mom, to go in her coffin. Don’t recall one thing I said in that letter, but I hope I expressed the huge love, endless gratitude, utter grief, and bottomless loss I felt in that moment. Words are insufficient when it comes to expressing the most delicate yet most cardinal feelings.
And that, my friends, is why we need champagne. Lots and lots of champagne.
An original piece
Posted: April 28, 2011 Filed under: breast cancer, drugs, infection, Surgery | Tags: blog, breast cancer, cancer battle, cancer diagnosis, Dr Seuss, infection, Jabba the Hutt, microsurgery, mycobacterium, new boobs, oral antibiotics, plastic surgeon, plastic surgery, reconstruction, TRAM flap 24 CommentsY’all are in for a treat today. Sit down, grab a beverage, put your phone on vibrate for this, because you’ll want to read this uninterrupted. My friend David has created a marvelous original piece just for Underbelly readers. He’s enormously talented with the prose and the pen, and as if the story itself isn’t enough, the illustrations are fabulous. I think it’s terrific, and it’s a perfect recap of my cancer-versary, which I feel compelled to continue celebrating. I favor the total birthday week, so likewise I may have a cancer-versary festival for as many days as my liver can stand. IMHO, now is always the right time to pop open some bubbly (I like later, too).
Those of you who have followed my story over the last year, with all its ups & downs, will know of my special relationship with my plastic surgeon. He and I have really gotten to know each other well during my “cancer journey,” and while I tease him sometimes (and drive him crazy all of the time), I have enormous respect for him and his amazing craft. We have a closer-than-normal bond because of the post-op care I’ve needed, and he’s been there for me every step of the way: entertaining me, enlightening me, engaging me, but in the end, taking phenomenal care of me. I trust him with my body and with my life. His work is simply stunning, and I’ve seen firsthand how he can transform a cancer-ravaged, wrecked body into not just a vessel for our souls but also a work of art.
So, in honour of my favorite doctor, I give you…
The Wubbulous Dr. S
“My name’s Dr., madam, or just ‘Dr. S’
And of all plastic surgeons, I’m strictly the best.
I see your mastectomy’s left you flat-chested,
Well, my reconstructions have never been bested!
If it’s hooters you want, then it’s hooters I’ve got.
I’ll shape up your shape till you’re hotter than hot.
You want to be buxom, then buxom you’ll be—
and you’ll be the envy of all that you see!
How can I do this? I’ll try to explain,
But it may be too much for your non-Doctor’s brain.
For, once I unveil this special contraption,
You’ll be quite amazed—it’s a natural reaction.
Behold! I give you the Balloon-Boob-U-Latron,
Which will stack up your rack to the stars and beyond!
And with this little dial on the side, I can choose
Whether you will get Double-D’s or…W’s.
So step right on up and I’ll rev up the engine.
By week after next, you’ll get LOTS of attention.”
“It sounds,” I replied, “Just too good to be true,
And besides, I don’t want DD or W.
I’m happy with simply a B or a C.”
“Nonsense.” He retorted, “Just listen to me.
As I said, I’m a DOCTOR. I’m SMARTER than you.
I’ve got major degrees coming out the wazoo.
You just sit back and whistle, while I do my stuff.
I’m starting the engine. You’ve said quite enough.”
Then he started it up. It whined and it cried
And he chose Double-J on that knob on the side.
And I sat there and whistled. That’s all I could do.
But then two hours later he said, “We are through.
Behold! They’re magnificent!” Then I looked down.
“I don’t see a difference.” I said with a frown.
“Of course not.” He said, “For your eyes are untrained,
But I am a DOCTOR. I’m quite largely-brained.
They’re just getting started. You’ll see. They will GROW.
Trust me. I’m the best—Dr. S—and I KNOW.”
I went home, kissed my kids, then I laid down to rest,
And when I woke up, I saw shape in my chest.
Not much, I admit, but the doctor was right.
They were growing. And kept growing all through the night.
I woke up next morning, completely in shock.
I couldn’t believe it and, quick, called the doc.
“Dr. S,” I said, “Now for the shocker of shockers.
Something,” I shouted, “is wrong with my knockers.
The one on the left’s growing stronger than strong,
But the one on the RIGHT is decidedly WRONG.”
“Hmmm. You’d better come in,” Dr. S said. “I’m fairly
Sure something has happened that happens quite rarely.”
When he saw me, he flinched. I was very lopsided.
“You have an infection,” the doctor confided.
“A mycobacterium. That is my hunch,
And my LARGE doctor’s brain knows these things by the BUNCH.
I know just what to do. There’s no need to debate it.
The one on the left…we’ll just have to deflate it.
And we have other options to give you new breasts,
But I am a DOCTOR, and doctors run TESTS.
I’ll get back to you shortly. Just wait and you’ll see.
Meanwhile, I’ll send you to deflating room B.”
So my boob was deflated, and so was my mood,
And the next time I saw Dr. S, I was rude.
“Look here, Dr. S,” I said. “I mean no trouble,
But I live inside of the SUGAR LAND Bubble.
I know you’re a DOCTOR, but I say, what of it?
You can take your Balloon-Boob-U-Latron and just shove it!”
“Tut, tut,” Dr. S said. “I expected as much.
A Sugar Land patient needs a delicate touch.
I’ve run many tests on your bodice, you see,
And the answer’s so clear for a Doctor like me.
What you need is a TRAM FLAP procedure! I know,
Because I am a DOCTOR, so on with the show!
Since you’re a non-Doctor, I’ll lend you a hand:
TRAM FLAP stands for ‘Tit Repositioning And
Moving Fat Like A Puzzle’, which quite simply means
That you’ll have to gain weight. So, goodbye, skinny jeans!
You must grow a big belly to give me the fat
That I’ll move to your boobies, to make them un-flat.
So go forth and EAT! Eat ice cream! Drink shakes!
Gobble bon bons and beignets and beezlenut cakes!
Grow the fat for new hooters. Get busy. Get LARGE.
(The fat on your ass you can keep, at no charge.)
And because I’m a DOCTOR, I must prescribe PILLS!
Pills for THIS and for THAT and for medical bills.
The mycobacterium must go away,
So you must take these pills twenty-four hours a day.
AND because this procedure is tricky as treacle,
I’ll need an assistant. Please, meet Dr. Spiegel.”
Then in walked a woman so lithe and so smart
That I almost felt jealousy deep in my heart.
So, now I had Drs. S1 and S2,
One doc for each boob. What the sam hell to do?
And as soon as I met with S1 and S2,
It became quite apparent (as things often do)
That a struggle for power was starting to brew
About which doc was MY doc,
And who was the MAIN doc,
And who would I see when this process was through?
So for weeks I ate pastries, popped pills, and drank shakes
(And martinis and beers because that’s what it takes)
Till I had so much weight in my belly and butt
That I bore a resemblance to Jabba the Hutt.
At my next appointment, they pinched, poked, and prodded,
And at last both my doctors stepped back and they nodded.
“You’re simply ENORMOUS,” said Dr. S1.
“As big as a WHALE! What good work you have done.”
Then Dr. S2 added, “Yes, I agree.
There’s plenty of fat here. Just leave it to me!”
“Excuse ME?” shot S1, “But I won’t stand for that.
YOU can assist ME, while I move her fat,
For I am a DOCTOR…”
“Oh yeah? So am I.”
And in the stunned silence, they stood. Eye to eye.
Yes, they stood and they stared, never budging a whistle,
But I finally spoke up and I said, “Ugh! For shizzle!
Yes, I KNOW you’re both doctors. I KNOW you’re both wise
But it’s MY reconstruction, so shut up, you guys.
Dr. S1, you have cosmetic vision,
So, you’ll do the OUTSIDE stuff. That’s MY decision.
Dr. S2, you’re as detailed as hell,
So you’ll move my fat, and blood vessels as well.”
Then they stared at me—stunned—like the strangest of fish,
And then Dr. S1 said, “If that’s what you wish,
I will finish the outside. But YOU, Dr. Spiegel
Must make room for ME and my extra-large ego.”
“All right,” said the slightly dejected S2,
“When I am all through, I’ll give over to you.”
“And she’ll be MY patient,” shot Dr. S1,
“She’ll be mine, mine, mine, MINE, from the moment we’re done.”
“WhatEVER,” I said, and I just rolled my eyes.
“Time’s a-wastin’. Let’s do it. Get going, you guys.”
So they wheeled me to surgery, both did their jobs,
And when we came out, I had spanking new yobs!
“Well, what do you think?” asked S1 and S2.
I replied, “I’m just glad that this whole thing is through.
I have boobs, and that’s fine, but I was fine before,
I just want my LIFE back. There’s so much, MUCH more.
I want to be free, be a mom, be a wife,
Write an end to this chapter of my so-called life.”
And what happened next? Well in Who-ville they say
That the doctors’ small hearts grew THREE sizes that day.
My story had touched them. It lifted the fog
Of their arrogance—and gave me stuff for my blog.
So, thanks to the doctors—their wisdom and skills,
Their sense of perfection, and even their pills.
I’m alive. I am whole. Though my journey’s not finished,
My faith in my future remains undiminished.














































